Thursday, 16 October 2008

As soon as this pub closes, the Revolution starts

There’s an advertisement in this week’s Manx papers for a new member of the Police Consultative Forum, which, so the blurb says, was ‘established in 1998 to gather views about policing and crime prevention issue’ and ‘to work alongside the IoM Constabulary and Department of Home Affairs to further improve relations between the police and the community’.
It’s also supposed to be independent…yeah right, and a herd of pigs just flew past Tynwald in a ‘V’ formation!
No point even getting an application form.
Last year there was an advertisement for a related body, the Police Advisory Group. This was also supposed to have representatives of a broad cross-section of Manx business, social and community organisations.
After months of time wasting the new members were announced, and coincidentally all were involved in Crimestoppers, Neighbourhood Watch or Victim Support and/or linked to evangelical churches. The owner of St. John’s Mill Conference Centre, (nicknamed‘Stepford Central’ because of all the right wing kooks who are based there) chairs both the PAG and PCF, aided by a Stepford sidekick.
The Department of Home Affairs is really going to have to tackle this flat-earth spookchaser monopoly some time. The Board of Prison Visitors are self-elected godbotherers, so many prison officers were recruited from Ulster and Scottish jails that they even formed a Manx branch of Ian Paisley’s church, the bail hostel is run by the Sally Ann, their 'drug and alcohol therapy' is done by bozos operating out of the Baptist church down the road, the police force has never recovered from being led by a James Anderton clone……
Funny how the Manx government assumes all concerns about policing can be expressed by a handful of superstitious village idiots – like the rest of us don’t care or matter.
No, what we really need is a new special interest group, and I know just how to start it. Forget prissy church hall gatherings of sourfaced grumps. Let’s all go down the pub.
By about 8 PM, after the first couple of pints take effect, the real problems will be getting well aired and we’ll know just what to do about them. And even by midnight ,when none of us can stand up or talk straight, we’ll still be talking less bollocks than a stone-cold Baptist on Sunday morning.
Get the drinks in: the fightback starts here.

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