Never mind Christmas, even Easter 2011 is early

There I was waiting for the first sad press release in which zombie worshippers try to complain that Christmas is too ‘commercial’, but this year they’ve really jumped the gun. They’re already whingeing about next Easter!
And as if it isn’t bad enough that the Christians stole Saturnalia. Now the cheeky sods want to copyright Spring too.
Apparently the Anglican Area Manager has “welcomed the launch of The Real Easter Egg, the UK’s first and only Easter egg to mention Jesus on the box.”
Well, he would, wouldn’t he?
It seems his firm and other voodoo merchants have teamed up with the misleadingly named ‘Fairtrade’ mafia and other do-gooders to try and guilt-trip us into buying dodgy chocolate. This so they can continue screwing over Africans the way they used to screw over everybody else, I suppose. You can read more at http://www.manx.net/news/449/bishop-welcomes-first-easter-egg-to-mention-jesus-on-the-box if you want a good laugh.
I particularly loved:
“ …there will be educational resources available in January 2011 with The Real Easter Eggs being delivered early in 2011. It is hoped that staff will use the arrival of the eggs to teach about citizenship, the meaning of Easter, the role of Fairtrade and the place of charitable giving. The supply of eggs can then be given as rewards for students who have worked particularly hard in exploring these themes.”
Christians as good citizens? That’s about as unlikely as condom machines in the Vatican, I’d have thought.
And don’t even mention Traidcraft in this house.
The local Fairtrade group would like to claim that they work in a non-discriminatory way with the local community. Unfortunately they can’t because that would be such a whopping fib that people would laugh aloud, even more than they do already.
I still remember when they handed out free tea and coffee to local churches, but not other faiths or community organisations. The irony was, many if not most of the groups they snubbed were practicing fair trade well before the godbotherers.
As Traidcraft’s head office just blanked those who pointed out not only this, but that some of the recipients have the worst Manx record on racism, sexism and homophobia, we decided that maybe they knew what they were doing, and were just getting churches on board the only way they're ever made to pay attention to the real world. When they get something for nothing.
As for giving money to a UK charity for natal care – why? Don’t the Brits have governments to provide adequate health services? If their natal care isn’t good enough, let them lobby their politicians.
It’s not so long ago that they were trying to stop Manx resident pensioners from getting emergency treatment if they got ill while visiting English relatives. And that included pensioners who’d paid into the English NHS all their working lives before retiring here for a slower pace of life.
In short, there’s about as much chance as the BNP flogging me Easter eggs as this bunch of chancers. Because at least the BNP are upfront about their prejudices and policies, instead of trying to pass them off as ‘charity’.