Sunday 16 May 2010

Flapjacks for Jesus

If you’re rational but a bit of a health food fan or, from choice or necessity, on a special diet, you might want to know that a health food company called Goodness Direct is owned by the Jesus Army.
Folk of my vintage or with similar leisure interests will know this bunch of bampots. They became well known in the 1980’s for tailending free festivals and other ‘alternative’ events. In fact, they’d turn up anywhere rootless folk convened in order to try and round up the weakest as slave labour.
Still do too. It's my suspicion that they're more of a menace to teenage runaways and the homeless than crack dealers, serial killers and Russian mafia sex racketeers combined.
I don’t say that lightly either, as they’re one of those despicable cults which, under the pretence of ‘equality’ and 'community', typically require that members confess their ‘sins’ (thus making them vulnerable to blackmail) hand over all personal possessions (thus making it impossible to leave) and then, if they’re really unlucky, spend the rest of their lives as wage, domestic and sex slaves to the leadership.
As their reputation grows, or police forces and the Charity Commission catch up with their latest scams, they tend to run more of their fund-earning activity through subsidiaries but this ( http://www.jesus.org.uk/ja/ ) is the current public identity they go under.
Amusingly, there used to be organisations, such as the Cult Information Centre, which kept tabs on such creeps. But if you go to the current Cult Information Centre website (see http://www.cultinformation.org.uk/home.html ) you’ll find something hilarious.
The original upfront sponsors used to include the C of E, the Baptist Union and the Evangelical Alliance, which was ironic enough.
Now, check back against the Jesus Army website and look to the bottom right. Yup – Jesus Army is now a signed up partner of the Evangelical Alliance, which is no longer openly associated with the Cult Information Centre, which is no longer naming and shaming the cults, just giving vague and woolly ‘warning signs’ as to what constitutes a cult.
Pretty pathetic, no? But if you think that’s sad (if hilarious) consider this. A couple of years ago it was revealed that the US website and organisation which was the model for the Cult Information Centre in the UK, and even gave them all their current guidelines as to what is, or isn’t, a cult, had been run by the Scientologists!
You can read all about ‘healthy’ flapjacks flogged by decidedly unhealthy cults at http://community.livejournal.com/dark_christian/1165948.html .
(Hat-tip to Feorag at Pagan Prattle for spotting it)

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